'...and the Winner is.....'

What's the #1 complaint on computer users' minds/hearts/souls when they are finally pushed to call for help? The results are in and the winner is....wait for it...

"My computer is so *@#$-ing SLOW!" Sometimes the complaint is followed by 'all of a sudden' or 'I've been living with it for AGES and I'm about ready to throw it off the deck'.

There are a host of reasons for why a computer might 'suddenly' move like a fly on fly paper and here are a just a few, in order of common offense (most of this having a WINDOWS slant):

1. Too little RAM memory. Yes folks, I know the salesman told you when you bought it that this would be PLENTY good for your purposes. The cold hard truth? ==>>Salesman LIE. There is no such thing as TOO MUCH RAM. It you have any spare change when buying a computer spend it on more RAM. Trust me...you'll be sooooo much happier.
   
2. Registry issues need 'curing'. What's a Registry, you might ask? It's a rather important file that Microsoft Windows (all versions) use to tell it who, what and where things are on your computer and what to do with them; and it entirely on it's own over time developes ways about it self that just aren't right.
3. Virus problems. You thought this one was gonna be 1st, right? Wrong. While still a common problem the other two issues are a bigger head ache for most computers. Didn't renew or replace the FREE trial virus protection when it expired? Shame on you. And there are PLENTY of great free virus protection software programs available.
   
4. Spyware issues. Oh yeah, when we get done celebrating the fact that the internet is FREE and UN-regulated we deal with the reality that any website, most in fact, can place small items ON OUR computers that make our machines slow from a run to a stroll to a crawl. Tracking cookies are a big problem because they're like little BEACONS using up your bandwidth (sorry....for the...geek-speak) to tell some commercial entity little things about you and your internet visits that marketing companies pay to know. Sucks, but such is the price of freedom. And spyware protection is NOT the same as virus protect...well, sometimes it is, but 98% of the time it's NOT. You need BOTH. Hey, it's a jungle out there.
   

But there's GOOD NEWS. It's not broke, it's just ailing. If you don't have hours and hours to research how to fix these problems then it's time I plug what it is I do and offer to come over and fix it for 'ya. Hey, it's what we do.

Wait, wait....I forgot number 5. Your computer is just too OLD. Yep, if it's over eight and you want it to do something more than prop a door open then you are likely to need ALL of the above to keep it going. But some of us would like to keep one more thing out of the landfill and wanna keep the ole machine goin' for a while longer. I repeat: Call us.

Another Phony Story

Those folks at Apple...they just make fine 'stuff'. Ok, yesterday a phone was just a phone, yes? To make and receive calls? Well, get out of the way because that is so YESTERDAY....I'm sayin' the IPHONE is here...big time.

A phone today can be so much more and for NOT a lot more money. It should still keep us in touch with folks we need to be in touch with....but it is also an information device and an entertainment device.

Don't like the way things are going? You may was well try and turn back time and the tide. Like it or not phones will be mini computers that can 'sing' us to sleep or tell us what's at the movies down the block. It is dangerous to not know what these technological devices are all about. The danger that we'll become 'old' in our thinking and the world will pass us by.

I say it's exciting. And you know, it still has an ON/OFF button.

This is getting Sooooo Old!

Yeah, I know. Age. It's tough to talk about. But we had this discussion in a previous post and it bears repeating, as a good 'rule of thumb' often does.

Computers, like out pets, age at a different rate than people do. Duh! You've noticed, right? While with our dogs and cats we allow 7 years to one to determine their age in the pet life cycle, with computers its more like 15 to 1. That is to say, a one year old computer is a 'teenager' and a 5 year old computer is passing mid seventies, virtually.

With our pets, no matter HOW much we love them, we begin to examine what is humane for their own good when considering those 'vet' bills; same is true for a PC. Though they can like pets, be born with 'genetic irregularities' that cause them to go 'terminal' early, this 15 to one rule of thumb rule works well in evaluating the computer life cycle. Sure, sometimes they live to be '100', but that is as rare with PCs as it is with people and pets.

It's useful to have this 'age calculator' when facing a PC replacement and if it makes sense to consider 'major surgery', or do we just 'put it down' mercifully. Never and easy decision, but you're the one in charge. Knowledge is power. Make good decisions. Call me when you need me and for the rest of the time 'Good luck with that'.

What? Left overs? Again?

PC World confirms what most of us have always known...that those warnings from the printer software that we are 'OUT of INK' are usually bogus...that we may in fact have anywhere from 8-45% of the usable ink in a cartridge left over. It ain't right...it ain't fair, but those dudes who make 'em are in charge. Hey, some printers won't even let you go on till you buy and replace a new cartridge...Extortion! And it doesn't matter that you buy refillables....same problem.
>
What's a body to do? Well, for one, don't 'change over' just because they say you're low on ink...wait till your print quality suffers.


Beyond that everything you might to is too much of a hassle. Yeah, I know...you'd hoped there was an INK magic wand....sorry. The good news is that newer printers have become somewhat better at ink utilization...but with printer manufacturers making ALL their money on ink, we consumers are sort of down the ole ink well.

Get Some Class, Will you? Part II

With the thought being that many may well receive either a computer or a digital camera (or BOTH!) thru the Holidays I'd like to offer a special class in Mid-January geared toward helping folks put their camera to use; then, get the pictures from the camera to their computer, perform minor editing and attach pictures to e-mails. It's a pretty basic class so no special skills are needed...just a will to learn.

If you're interested please call Mark at 503-530-6623 or e-mail to
markd@neighborhoodcomputerservices.net and ask for the full class outline & pricing. I'll only be taking a limited number of students for this class, so contact me NOW, before I run out of space.

Getting Digital Cameras to Work with Computers 101...a four hour class, taught/split between two days.

IPhone...Do you Phone?

Ok, so I'm a gadget hound; and someone precious to me KNEW I lusted over the 'new' IPhone from Apple...and got it for me.

Is it the greatest? Maybe. I sure am having fun with it though. But if you JUST want a cell phone then this may not be for you. What I'm saying is it DOES require enthusiasm to learn how to use all its bells and whistles.

I mean, I like having my addresses and appointments with me, synced back and forth with my laptop...now I don't need the laptop with me every freaking moment. But knowing the stock market at this moment? Like it but don't NEED it. Having the music from my ITunes/IPod with me all the time on my phone? Well, I don't want to waste precious battery life on music when after all...it's a phone.

Ok, I'm making it sound like I don't love it. That is so NOT true. I do. But as I said from the get-go I'm a gadget nut. I WANT all the stuff I don't need. Voice recorder? Got it. Surf the net on my phone? You bet. Map Quest on my phone? Uh huh...you can't do that? Google Talk Instant Messaging, Google EARTH, Spanish lessons, 158,000 Recipes for what's for dinner...I mean how could anyone live without this STUFF? I want more STUFF in my life.

Ok so you can't do all this on your phone? So call me from your 'weak' phone and I'll tell you all about it. Make you a great deal on my old Verizon basic phone...

How's your OUTLOOK, Group....?

It's amazing how often I get asked by folks using Microsoft's e-mail program, OUTLOOK: "I regularly send an e-mail to the same group of co-workers (or family)...How do I send the same E-Mail to a particular GROUP of people without having to put in their addresses each time?" No really, I get asked this...Ok, almost never...but here it is anyway.

To create a distribution list using names in the Address Book
First OPEN Microsoft Outlook, then

1. On the File menu, point to New, and then click Distribution List.
2. In the Name box, type a name.
3. Click Select Members.
4. In the Show names from the list, click the address book that contains the e-mail addresses you want in your distribution list.
5. In the Type name or select from list box, type a name you want to include. In the list below, select the name, and then click Members. Do this for each person you want to add to the distribution list, and then click OK.

If you want to add a longer description of the distribution list, click the Notes tab, and then type the text.

The distribution list is saved in your Contacts folder by the name you give it.

There, that was HELPful, wasn't it?

I can't get no.....no no no.....

I wish I could say I've satisfied EVERY customer who's come to me with a problem; I wish I could say it without lying.

Truth is, I do alright...but 'alright', doesn't make me as happy as perfection would. I hate...I mean I HATE...leaving a job without the work done right, complete and to everyone's satisfaction. Folks have an expectation when they engage me that I'll satisfy them ... It's a realistic expectation, and I try hard...so very hard to exceed that expectation.

But if/when I don't make the grade (and don't get me wrong, it doesn't happen often) I WON'T ever, ever take a dime for my time. You have a right to have your expectations met. My customers can rest easy knowing I'm going to bust my ... my jewels ... to make them glad they called.

Better than anything ... yes, better than my fee....is hearing you say "Thanks. You made my day" whenever I've completed a job. I work hard trying to make friends out of customers; to get them back to seeing how computing can be fun again.

Put me to work for you. I bet you'll be pleased you did.

Look up in the sky...Was that a Comment?...or..."How to leave a comment at a blog site"

Some of my no-nonsense readers have been so kind as to speak up and say that this blogging thing is cool, 'But how do I leave a comment!' Well to me it all seemed so intuitive and easy. Then I tried again tonight and now I feel your pain.

To post a comment at the end of an article look for the small selectable print that says Comment . Click it to open a new window.
There will be a spot at the lower right to click 'Anonymous'; after selecting that you can fill in your comment. Be cordial and friendly, but brutally honest. And type in your name or whatever nick name you like, so I know which voodoo doll to stick pins in.

Glad just to be Alive

Yes I know...this is a site about computers. But, every once in a while I wake up just DAMN glad to be alive. And its times like this I think to myself, what can I share with my readers that is NO cost and kinda fun. YES...I really do think that...don't try and say I don't really....cause I DO.

And the link tied to the heading of this post is just such a share. My father, a member of the early HUMAN Potential Movement, was fond of telling people when asked that he thought of himself as an Portrait ART teacher, helping people to paint better pictures of themselves. I've always liked that thought.

So this POST is a diversion....a fun little opportunity to experiment with YOUR artistic talents, always remembering: 'If it worked for Jackson Pollock why not ME?'

Click on http://www.jacksonpollock.org/ Then....
Have fun, live long and prosper.

Oh PS....What made me feel so good? Somebody left a word of encouragement in the comments. See? With life, it's the LITTLE things....